when exactly does a beginning start? is it an internal shift? or is it forced upon us abruptly….without an invitation but there anyway, upping the ante to begin something new?
i don’t make friends with beginnings easily. i tend to walk in the wounds of my past much too often to embrace a begininning without a certain amount of distrust. i want beginnings to prove themselves. it’s an awkward relationship. i’ve built new beginnings from the ashes of past situations many times. i’m somewhat good at that. but for me, there is no shiny coin of possibilities at the bottom of the rubble. just the tarnished and sacred talismans from history gone by. i hold them tenderly… my ever present struggle of deciding which to take and which to leave behind.